What would happen if…

My whole life I thought I would be married with kids in a beautiful house with dogs, all by 25 years old. Well Life had another plan for me. I’m 38 years old and I am very single. I haven’t been on a date in 3 years and when I go out with my friends I never get hit on. I honestly don’t know why this is, I’m out going and love joking around and have a good time. Of course all my friends don’t have single friends or the ones they do have are players(their words no mine). I was recently in a wedding and looked around at all the couples that where there and I couldn’t help but wonder when was it going to be my time? When was I going to have my Mr. Right? Was I ever going to get married? Was I ever going to have kids? Ahhhhh!!!!! You can see where this can drive me crazy. Focusing on something that I have absolutely no control over is not healthy, this I know. I often say if I could just look into the future and know that I will be happily married with kids, then maybe I could stop obsessing over wether I’m going to get married or not. Since that is not realistic I have to come up with another plan. I’m sure you can tell by now that I’m a planner. I plan everything it’s how work. So summer is right around the corner and of course I have planned my monthly goals, budget and vacations. What if I stop worrying about if I will ever find true love and get married and have kids. I mean really just stop, no more asking people if they know any single guys or when I go out with friends just focus on them and not be scanning the room for guys. Starting today I am going to put all my energy into myself. I’m going to focus on the things I need to do for myself to make myself a better person. For one whole year I am going to stop focusing on something I have no control over and just focus on bettering myself. My hopes are that by the end of 2017 I will have accomplished a lot of my major goals and made myself a better me. I know it’s not going to be easy by any means. I have been single for over 10 years. I have been singing the “I’m going to die alone” song for way to long. During this year I’m going to take you on my journey of learning how to be ok with being single. My goal is to focus on the things I can change and give the things I can’t change to God. I want to live a completely happy life and as long as I obsess over if I’m going to get married and have kids or not, my life will never be fully happy. I’m looking forward to keeping you guys updated with My Journey of what would happen if…

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